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The irony is that it was one of these cutthroat writers’ dictums that scarred my early life. My biological father had a breakdown when I was very young. He vanished in the dead of night, leaving me and my mum alone in an isolated pig farmer’s cottage in the woods. He never explained what triggered the breakdown, but later he took to repeating a well-known line from Cyril Connolly’s Enemies of Promise as he ranted down the phone: “There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hall.”

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